Let's go ahead and acknowlege that my summer blogging has been less than acceptable. Now let's move on!

First, my wife has a blog you should now check out.

Now, on to what I am here to talk about. So we're having a baby boy right. And I've been thinking about all the things I'll get to do to with the little fella once he gets here in November. And I started thinking about how I will most likely sing to him, since that's kinda what I do....sing and all. And I got to thinking about how I will sing lullabys to him at night. And so I started practicing.

Rock-a-bye baby in the tree tops
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bow breaks the cradle will fall
And down will come baby
Cradle and all

As I was singing it, I began to think about what it was I was singing. DOES ANYBODY ELSE SEE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SONG? Is it me or is this just wrong?

First of all, who put baby in the top of the tree? And for what purpose? I mean baby didn't climb up there himself. Someone had to think it was a good idea to put him up there.

Then, the wind begins to gust and no one thinks it is a good idea to get baby down? The trees are swaying, the storm is a-brewing, but let's leave little baby in the top of the 100 year old rotten oak tree and see what happens. And what happens? The bow breaks! Someone should've cut the tree down years ago because it was bound to give way under the pressure of the now-100 mph winds that are blowing, but instead of calling the tree service out to the house, we just decided instead to PUT THE BABY IN IT?!?!?!?

So the bow breaks, and the cradle falls.....the CRADLE HOLDING THE BABY?!?!?!? And all we say is "Down will come baby cradle and all"?!??!?! As though it is some sweet little tune to put baby to sleep? NO WAY!!

This is the reason baby's all across the world wake up every 2 hours screaming. They're not hungry! They had a dream that someone actually put then in the top of an old rotten oak tree just minutes before a terrible storm, producing straight-line winds, blew up and knocked them and their cradle to the ground. WHAT SICK PERSON WROTE THIS SONG?

So I've decided that I intend fully to sing my little boy to sleep many nights. But mark my words, I WILL NEVER SING ROCK-A-BYE-BABY!!!!!!!


Someone gave Lucy a CD with various lullabies (for the record, the people are singing like they're going to win a grammy for best vocal performance...anywho) and one of the tracks is Rock-a-bye baby. Here's how they changed the lyrics.

Rock-a-bye baby in the tree tops
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bow breaks the cradle won't fall
Cause I'll catch you baby
Cradle and all

Did you know Frere Jacques was about an assassination plot? Seriously.

August 3, 2009 at 12:05 PM  

Yeah, a lot of children's songs are twisted like that.

My kid's gonna need enough therapy without that stuff!

August 3, 2009 at 4:55 PM  

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